Lots of new changes

I haven't blogged forever and figured it was time lol. So many changes have taken place over the past few months. I could be on here forever trying to fill you in but I will give you the short version. I quit my job at the school I had been at for over 7 yrs - scary but exciting. I took Kynlee out of daycare and became a stay at home mom ;) It has def. been different but I always have something to do - actually, I think my new role is more work haha. Kynlee enrolled in pre-school at Lighthouse and we are really excited to start after labor day. I'm very sad about how fast she has grown - I don't know where the time has gone. We have open house on Sept. 2nd and I'm nervous to see how she will react. I've talked all summer about her school and after every conversation, she asks "where are you going to be" lol. I bought the book LLama Llama misses momma and we read it everynight. She knows that I will come back to get her and I'm sure she will do fine. I did start at a new school only a few blocks from her school - I love it. I've only been there a few times and I know that this was the best decision I have ever made. I only work while Kyn is in school - about 10 hrs a wk. I was nervous going into a new school because I don't like change and I loved the kids and teachers that I worked with last yr but I discovered that I wasn't the only one that transferred lol and I actually know a lot of people and kids there ;) Kynlee starts dance on Sept. 6 and we are super excited about this. Her leotard and shoes are so tiny and are the cutest things I have every seen. Hopefully I keep up with blogging now and will post her first day of dance and school pictures :)

Another Crazy Busy Wk

I'm not even sure where to begin but I think people are going to get tired of me moaning about work - crazy busy - more than I ever expected. You always know that after a holiday or a break that the kids are going to have a hard time to get back into the groove of everything and these past 2 wks have not been an exception. Everybody has had a crisis or a meltdown. I felt like I had moved into the 1st grade room because of all of the time I have spent in there. You have to love them though - they come up with the craziest questions. I have relearned all of my vowel sounds and See Spot Run Books - it makes me sad to think that my baby girl will be sitting in those chairs in a few short yrs. Actually, all of the kids I work with are great, I think most of the time it is the adults that make things harder than they have to be. Only 8 more wks of school left and then I won't have to spend as muc time in the office anymore - yay!!!
It has been a hard wk in the house for Kyn - I worked till 1 am almost every night and she fought sleep and wouldn't wake up without a fight. Shawn has been working so much and hasn't been home. she misses him so much. When she asks why he has to go to work he jokes around and says "oh because your mom spent all my money or your mom needs money". So know I am the bad person and she tells me to quit spending so much money lol - so not the case. The railroad is swamped and can't seem to figure out track schedules the way the need to be. That's ok, I'll be the bad person lol. Ever since Kyn was born, she has had asthma, allergies, and ear problems - wonderful traits that she inherited from me and my family. Before she got her first set of tubes, she was having ear infections 1-2/month. The dr would just shake his head and say that everything runs straight to her ears. Tubes went in and things improved a ton. 1-2 ear infections a yr. One tube fell out awhile back and we were expecting it. Started getting ear infections every 1-2 months and now both tubes are out and we are getting them every 2 wks. Wouldn't be a big deal but the ear specialist keeps cancelling on us twice now in 2 wks - when they called to reschedule the receptionist wasn't in a hurry to get her in because it was just a re-check and made the next appt for the middle of April. So tom. I have to call them and beg to get her an appt quickly and get the surgery scheduled or find a new dr in OKC. Just praying she feels better. She gets pretty cranky when she is sick and I'm hoping that this passes quickly.

Finally found a wooden swing set that I liked and wasn't going to break the bank lol. Man those things are expensive but it is a good investment. Was planning to go and pick it up yesterday but we spent the day at the dr's office. So today, I am driving Shawns truck to go pick up the new swing set. Hopefully, I make it home with all of the pieces

Happy St. Patricks Day and Spring Break!

I'm a little behind on my blog this wk. I've been trying to stay off the computer and enjoy my spring break. I'm chained to my computer everyday at work and this is my break from the work that it waiting for me. We have had a lot of fun this wk - unfort. I worked Monday and Tuesday but on Wed., Sara, Jake, Great- Grandma, Kyn and I went to the movies to see Rango. I was worried how Kynlee would act as this is her first time at the theater but she did pretty good, except for the fact all 27 pnds of her couldn't keep the seat down and it would fold up on her throughout the movie lol. I wish I could've taken a picture :) The movie was ok - had a lot more adult content than kids but they enjoyed themselves. I could have done without the great big snake - Jake lol. I would have been terrified but the kids didn't seem to mind. Today, we had a St. Patricks Day party at Jakes - Sara did an amazing job with all of the crafts and decorations. She never should have bought bubbles and silly string because that is all they wanted to do. Great time catching up with a friend I haven't seen in awhile. Shawn had a horrible migraine today and we made a quick trip to the dr. While he was being seen, Kyn and I ran to KMart to waste time - he shouldn't have sent us lol. I finally found Sea Monkeys. I have been looking for these forever. It should be an adventure because aquatic animals haven't faired well in our homes.

I was hoping to be able to tell people I work with at the school about my "big decision" but my boss decided to start telling, so the secret is out. I gave up my school that I am the primary therapist at. I have been at this school for 7 yrs - so it is bitter sweet. The stress level has just been too much and I decided that it isn't worth it anymore. So, Kynlee will be enrolled in pre-school at the church for 3 mornings a wk and I told work that I would see overflow at another school but I didn't want to be primary. I will be backup, which will be different but I think I can handle it :) This will allow for Kynlee and me to get back into mommy and me dance classes and I can focus on her instead of telling 30 plus parents how to focus on their kids. Not having my pay will stink but I will be saving 700 dollars a month on daycare and preschool charges. I've already become a good coupon queen and it is suprising how much you don't have to spend. Hopefully, I will have time to post some pics from today.

Informercials, Jersey Shore, and Remodeling

For some reason when I woke up on Saturday, instead of cleaning my disaster of a house, I decided I would watch Moving Up on TLC. Big mistake - by the time I finished the show, I had decided that I needed to re-do the bathroom - had great plans. Then I remembered Shawn's voice in my head saying "no more projects till you finish the ones you started", When we bought this house 6 1/2 yrs ago, it had been redone - just not in my taste. So before we moved in, we painted and removed all of the hunter green and flowered wall paper and the rag rolled brown color that was throughout the entire house. The entire house was carpeted in mauve - even the dining room and bathrooms. We put in all new flooring throughout the whole house. The kitchen had mauve counter tops and dark walnut cabinets with flowered wall paper. We removed the counter tops and painted the cabinets - all so I wouldn't be sick everytime I cooked lol. Last yr, I decided I was tired of the quick paint job and we started to texture and repaint all of the walls - huge project. Everything went well until we got to the staircase by the dining room. The old owners had put in all new sheet rock when they moved in and wallpapered and glued mirrors straight to the sheet rock. I had watched enough shows that I knew to tape over the mirrored wall and magically it came off - wrong. All of the glass busted into a million pieces and it took off the sheet rock as we worked on it. Six hours later, the mirrors were gone, the sheet rock was fixed and it has stayed that way for the pasat yr. It was such an eyesore but I didn't care - I was burned out. So this was my project on Saturday. Looking back, I should have stuck with laundry and dusting. Shawn was at work all wkend and hasn't been home since Friday night and he has no idea what he is walking into. I started sanding and laughed because I thought that this was easy - why have I put it off for so long. After the damage was done - I now know. My entire house is covered in a fine dust - everything. The more I dusted and vac. the worse it became. The furniture is pushed out into the middle and I finished for the night ready for some sleep.

This is were the informercials and Jersey Shore come into play. I became so sick last night. I couldn't breathe, my ears and throat hurt and I couldn't sleep. Hot showers and my netty pot didn't even begin to help my hot mess. So I watched informercials all night long - except for the hour of Jersey Shore. I have always hated that show and now I love it. Why do I love a show of wreckless kids from Jersey - I think because it reminds me of my friends and days in college and grad school. Actually Grad school was so much more fun - even though I worked all day and had a ton of class work to finish. Writing research papers on alcoholics was so much more fun when we all were sitting around the table with a bottle of tequilla :) I did learn about all kinds of products from the newest ab machines, powder for your hair to hide the bald spots, and the latest cooking gadgets. It's a good thing I was too sick to walk to the computer and order some things. So today is a mad rush of errands and fine dusting before the hubby gets home - let's hope I can pull it off or my husband, who hates messes, will be grouchy tonight.

Wow What a Week

I've made some big decisions lately but I have to keep them quiet for a little bit longer and it is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! I will say that the decision will allow me to spend soooo much more time with my family! I actually was doubting whether I was doing the right thing or not for the past few wks. My family is the most important thing to me but if you could meet and see the kids I work with, you would understand why I am torn. I am the only stable person that a lot of these kids have - not that I'm egotistic, I just worry about who will make sure they are taken care of. I didn't really tell anyone that I was questioning my 1/3 life crisis (I'm not old enought to have a mid life crisis lol) but I had been praying about it and just like always, God showed me that I was making the right decision. For the past two wks, I have been lucky to get home before 5 and if that happens, I was on the phone for work till 8 or 9 every night and then my phone would start ringing at 7 the next morning. My house is a disaster, laundry is piled up, and Kynlee is so clingy it is unreal - Okay God I got the message lol. This past school yr had been pretty smooth until I started to question the direction he was leading me but he has me straightened out again lol. The next few months are going to be pretty exciting for us - Kynlee is going to get enrolled in pre-school and start back to mommy and me dance classes. We were going to do gymnastics but she is so afraid to be away from me, even if I am standing at the window. So we are going to wait about 6 months and try that again. We are going to do T-ball - that should be an adventure. Remember the kid that always cried in the out field and the one that would run off to their parent - yep that will be her. I will probably have to run the bases with her or be the coach at one of the bases ha ha.

Diet is going good. I do really good all wk and then by Friday, I am ready to eat anything and everything lol. Still walking 2 miles a day and waiting for some drastic changes - patience isn't my virtue.

Why do bad things happen to good people

This week I have asked this question over and over again - why do bad things happen to good people? This past wk has been very tough as many emotions have snuck up on me - maybe it is hormones, maybe I am sensitive because of painful memories from my miscarriage brought up by talking about trying for another baby, or maybe it is just me looking around the world and seeing all of the violence and sufferage. I just started following a blog where a loving couple lost their precious baby. Why did this happen - the baby was healthy, the loved and provided for this child. I've really started to question why I am working in the field of counseling and maybe my bleeding heart can't take much more. Everyday I see kids with bruises, dirty, hungry, and afraid. I see parents who are addicted to drugs and alcohol and won't take care of their kids. I listen to stories of abuse all day at work and then I come home stressed and then see it again on the news. I start off the day with negative news in the paper and end with sad news stories. People ask me everyday how do I do my job and usually they end with - I can't believe you are so happy and together when you do this all day. This wk has just been very draining and I needed to vent. Ethically, I'm not allowed to introduce religion to people who don't know or haven't been blessed with the knowledge and love of God but I can't help to think how much better they would be if they had something to believe in. I know Satan is at work when bad things happen to good people but it is so frustrating when things go wrong and you don't have an answer.

On a brighter note, Kynlee is happy and healthy. She is amazing. She is beautiful, funny, and endearing. I'm ready for warmer weather so we can start walking every night and going to the park. She is going a little stir crazy with the winter blues. Shawn has been busy working and has hardly been home - she misses him so much and I feel bad for her. It was easier when she was little and didn't really notice his absence. Hopefully she can get some Jake time in this wk.

Surviving the changes

With the start of the new yr - we have decided to get serious about everything that we have always said were going to do. We have been attending an amazing church for the past few months and it def. was the missing piece in our lives. The experience has been wonderful and we really feel at home in the church. The church community has been very welcoming and supportive. The only drawback is that my little princess refuses to go to her classroom. A few wks ago she cried for over 10 minutes and I gave in and went to get her. I really thought I would be relieving the adults watching her but I now realize that I was trying to make myself feel better and have created a bigger problem than before. I'm not quite sure how to tackle this problem - which is irritating me because I solve so many other peoples problems everyday. As my sister pointed out today - she has total control over me and I am the one listening to her. So the next big step on my agenda is to become the parent again. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very strict and nurturing parent - I want my child to be respectful and grateful for everything she has but because of my issues and the fear that I would never have a child - I have spoiled her beyond anything I ever though i would do.

The other big news is that our house is getting healthy again :) I gained almost 100 pounds with my pregnancy and always put myself on the back burner. My focus was completely on my child - I was so afraid that I would lose the gift that God had given me. So have made big changes - we are walking over 2 miles a day and making better choices. This wk has been hard as I quit drinking coke, which was my main source of energy. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't gain 50 pounds overnight and that it isn't going to come off the first wk. I became very frustrated yesterday because I actually gained weight - why did I give up all of these things I love and cut my food intake by half to gain weight. I work out and watch the biggest loser and in return expect to lose as much as they do. So I'm taking it day by day and pound by pound.